Recently you may have seen that Mark Latham decided to write down his opinion on Rosie Batty, domestic violence and how things just aren’t like they used to be. And the editors at the Financial Review, in their wisdom, decided yet again, to publish his writings. If you haven’t read it, and feel you must, click here.
I wasn’t going to write a post about his nonsensical ramblings, but I’m furious. Furious that someone who apparently has the capacity to access the statistics and to talk to the relevant people can write such ill-informed, disrespectful and damaging twaddle. If you don’t want to read it, fair enough. The gist of it, from my reading, was this: he started off questioning how Rosie Batty is grieving her child, reminiscing for the days when the ‘working class’ would keep their grief private (I am not joking, he used those terms). He then moved on to having a go at her for speaking at events, like business functions, and for having an agency who arranged her bookings for these events. He bemoaned the way we turn grief into celebrity these days. He had a go at several writers for airing their issues in public, and made light of one man’s discussion on alcoholism, by stating that his writing made him feel like drinking. Hilarious. The ultimate point of his piece then seemed to come through, where he attempts to argue that the issue of domestic violence is a fiction made up by left feminists, and it only really affects indigenous and “other underclass communities” anyway. Yes, he refers to indigenous people as “underclass” and apparently anyone else who experiences domestic violence is also a part of the “underclass”. Wait, what? What year are we in?
So here are some of the things that sprang to mind upon reading this. Mainly, why the hell is the Financial Review still publishing this drivel? But also; who is Mark Latham to dictate how a person grieves? Who is he to tell Rosie Batty that she isn’t grieving her murdered child in the correct fashion? How are we at a point, as a community, where it’s ok for someone to so publicly shake their head and ‘tsk tsk’ at a woman who is working through a grief that will be life long, life changing and very nearly soul destroying? Rosie Batty must every day deal with the violent loss of her son, and every day she manages to get up and step into the world with the purpose of helping others and preventing more family violence. Oh yes, truly worthy of dressing down.
To the comments on her being represented by an agency, and horror of horrors, being paid for her work: This is coming from a man who works within an industry where people regularly use agencies to manage their speaking appearances, his ‘dismay’ is questionable. He is pedalling smoke and mirrors. Having an agency representing her merely means she has someone sorting out her speaking appearances, whilst she gets on with the actual work. You know, the important work, of speaking, educating and raising awareness of an epidemic of violence that in the majority, impacts on women. Women like you, me, your sister, cousin, girlfriend, colleague, boss, mother.
To his claim that the idea that women from all socio-economic communities are at risk from domestic violence being a “Big Lie” of the feminist left. Well, one can only imagine he hasn’t actually read anything about domestic violence in Australia. He follows this up with this zinger. That domestic violence is concentrated in indigenous and “other underclass communities”. Putting aside the charming, retro use of the word “underclass”, so what? Just because there is a higher prevalence in indigenous communities means we shouldn’t speak about it? Shouldn’t do anything to address it? The truth is, the numbers are so high that it means it is prevalent across all communities. Low, middle and high socio-economic.
His assertions that Rosie Batty is putting women at risk is not only insulting, but also flies in the face of all that is known by those who have actually studied, worked, researched or experienced family violence. You know, the ACTUAL experts. Being an ‘almost’ important person, does not make you an expert.
Being a white, privileged, “well educated”, well paid male does not give you the right to belittle the indigenous, the working class or to dismiss the ongoing horrific experience of thousands of women. An experience forced upon them by men.
Feeling miffed because a “working class” (I shit you not, he referenced ‘working class’) woman isn’t sitting at home hiding her grief does not give you the right to belittle her, nor does it make you an expert on family violence.
I’ve worked with it, I’ve sent it. I personally know women who are well educated, well employed, highly regarded, white and other, who have experienced varying degrees of violence against them. By well educated, well employed, well regarded white men. Because they are women. Don’t be fooled by his apparently racist, sexist dismissive ramblings. This issue is huge, it is relevant and his scared, pitiful whining against the “left wing feminists” ie women who don’t conduct themselves in a golden age, 1950’s fashion, speak more of his fearful close mindedness, than anything actually resembling fact.
Well Mark Latham, here’s my opinion. We are not in the 1950’s anymore. We are no longer shackled by old fashioned views on grief, violence, abuse and the role of women. Men and women today are able to talk about the terrible things that can happen in our society because as we evolve as a society we recognise that education is important. Education where we tell young men and women that violence of any kind is not acceptable. We do not hide at home in our grief anymore, unless that is what we want to do. Indigenous people and women ARE NOT underclass. Violence against women DOES happen across all parts of our society and WE ALL need to do more about it. Rosie Batty suffered an unthinkable loss, and has somehow managed to focus her life so that to help others. To speak up, to make others aware and to educate our society on the violence that is harming women and children daily. For that, we should be gathering around Rosie, lending her our strength and asking what can we do? We should be standing with her. I know I am.
As I’ve blogged earlier, I experienced PND with my first bubba, and it has also made itself known this time around. But I’m talking about something a little different. I’ve lost ME, for a little while. I think that it’s normal – after all there are massive changes after giving birth – physical and emotional. My focus has completely shifted. It is so easy to lose sight of yourself, as an individual, whilst mothering. Perhaps it’s easier when not in paid work as well? I’m at home, and not in the paid workforce at this time. So you know, spending days at a time talking to small people who don’t understand a) what you mean and b) logic, can be exhausting. Exhausting!
The relentless routine of feeding, cleaning, feeding, cleaning, and laundry. So much laundry. Every. Day. Perhaps it’s not really surprising that the mojo disappears for a while. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Right? Right?! Hehehehe.
So i’m on a bit of a mission to get my mojo back. And I’m not just talking losing weight and doing some exercise, although that will be a part of it. It’s about finding me as a person again. Or perhaps more accurately, easing some of my individual self back for me. And for The Mister. ‘Cos that’s a whole other issue – the evolving nature of the couple, once kids are added to the mix!
I’m starting with some obvious things – trying to improve the household diet, and add some regular exercise in. But I’ve also thought I need to do some more interaction with adults. So I’ve joined MOPS – Mothers of Pre-schoolers. It’s a playgroup where the kids are cared for in their rooms – ie baby and toddler rooms, and the mums get to participate in conversation, some activities and listen to different speakers for a whole two hours, no kids! (unless they need their nappies changed, then you get paged….). It’s really been interesting and has lead to another positive. They held are little Market just prior to mother’s day, just for the MOPS mums. We were encouraged to have a table there if we were starting up a new business, or if we already had one. It kicked me into gear, an a little seed of an idea that we have been sitting with has sprouted! The Mister and I are still working on it, but we are setting up an online store. Once it’s active I’ll write about it a bit more.
It’s been a bit of a challenge, and a bit nerve wracking – I’ve not really done any retail or markets before, but I do feel it’s actually helping my energy as well. We’ve got the office tidy and back in control, the same with changing out the pantry, and organising the kitchen. All things we’ve been meaning to do for ages.
Tell me, what have you done to get your mojo back post baby? Are you still looking for it? Tell me I’m not the only one????!!!!!!
* I’ve linked this up to the Digital Parents Blog Carnival for May 2014! Click through to check out some really excellent blogs.photo by: MSVG