Yep, that’s me this week. Especially the shouty. And not much of the Good. Urgh. I suppose I could blame it on the ‘threenager’ (yup, totally a word, and very accurate) but that would be completely unfair and not very adult of me. The shouty, I need to own it, and maybe that will help me breathe through it.
I’ve found myself incredibly short-tempered this week. My poor little Ms 3 is not getting very good parenting from me. I’ve been quick to yell, shouting out orders, and angry that she won’t listen. She is three. Mainly, I’ve been furious with myself. And falling into bad self talk. “I’m such a bad mum”. “My kids are going to be so damaged from me”. “How can I be like this.” Mmmmmmmmm. Breath out. Shut my eyes for a few moments. Check that spiraling, dark thought process and put it aside. Let’s face it, it’s not particularly helpful. Nor is the fact that I had forgotten to fill the antidepressant script, and therefore had not taken any for a week. Riiiiiight. It’s a pretty low dose, but clearly it’s still needed at this point. What do you know, my (excellent) GP was right.
There have been terrible events highlighted recently in the news. Terrible incidents and wars where children have been killed. Where parents have lost all of their children in one incident. I cannot even read the articles. My brain cannot comprehend the grief and trauma those parents must feel. I look at my children and am overwhelmed with emotions and fears and hopes. These terrible events remind me to breathe in, and step back. Who cares if we are late somewhere? Who cares if I have to change Mr 1.5 for the third time before we get out the door? It doesn’t matter. They are here, they are healthy, they are happy. I’m not ruining them, I just need to not shout so much. And I need to hug and kiss them multiple times a day. Every day.
It’s Friday, which for us means the end of the Mister’s working week, and two whole days with all of us home together. Swim classes, watching some footy, maybe even breaking out Star Wars for Ms 3 (for the first time ever!!) So I’m throwing the Bad and the Shouty off and heading into the weekend with just the Good.
How about you? Who has had a good, bad or shouty week? Let me know I’m not the only one yelling at her 3-year-old! Let it all out here, a virtual shaking off if you will!