• postnatal depression, perinatal depression
    Family,  Parenting,  Post Natal Depression,  Self Care,  Womanhood

    Postnatal Depression

    postnatal depression, perinatal depressionPost Natal Depression. Ah crap. That can’t be right. Not me. My husband is super supportive, I have fantastic support from my mum, family and close friends.
    Mothering was ‘supposed’ to be my thing! I’m ‘supposed’ to be ‘good’ at this! I should be feeling seven shades of bliss and happiness right now. Not feeling so overwhelmed that I can’t make a decision about how to finish the shopping, or to even get out of the house.
    I’m well educated and aware when it comes to PND – I’ve worked with vulnerable women and their families for over 10 years, including new mums and community agencies. I know that it’s a lot more common than people think, that it has nothing to do with your ability or education.

    I was diagnosed with PND when my first bub was four months old.  And this came about because I knew how I felt wasn’t the way it had to be.  I talked to my husband and to my mum – a current Maternal and Child Health nurse.  A then I went to my GP.  She was brilliant.  Listened to me, reassured me, and basically acknowledged how I was feeling and just how hard and UNEXPECTED mothering can be.  

    For me, a combination of counselling and medication helped.  But there again was another thing to ‘feel guilt’ about – medication whilst breastfeeding!  However, I was reassured by my GP, and to be honest, I needed something to help me out of the fog I was in.  Medication helped me with that.  I’ve always thought and advocated that if the mum isn’t at her best, how can the rest of the family be?  

    In the time since this all came about, I’ve done a lot of thinking and reflection.  How have we developed such expectations of ourselves?  Why should I as a woman, automatically ‘be good’ at mothering?  Why do I think I should be?  Why do I think that I’m not?  Mothering, parenting, is such an amazing, tiring, funny, exhausting, wonderful and shattering experience all at once.  It’s not something that you can fully prepare for, despite the reading, the classes, the internet trawling you might do.  It is different for EVERYONE.  The pregnancy, the birth process, the feeding, the sleeping, the change to your partnership.  The change to yourself.  

    The most important thing I think I can say to anyone about to become parents, or even those already in it, is to be kind to yourself.  Be gentle.  Love your baby and family.  But love yourself as well.  Chances are, you’re doing a fabulous job.  

    If you think you could be feeling better, or your partner could be feeling better, check PANDA out.  They’re a good place to start.  

  • Parenting

    Guess Who’s Making a Delivery?

    That’s right, this guy will be visiting at the end of the year:

    Vintage Stork via  The Graphics Fairy

    We are very excited here, although our Little Miss, who is 14 months old, is quite oblivious to the fuss! We are also very thankful that this has happened when we wanted it to, knowing so many people who have had to travel a hard road with their pregnancies.

    So I’m about 15 weeks along, and finally starting to feel more like me again! With my first pregnancy, nausea was nearly non-existent. Not this time. I had quite a few weeks of it, but thankfully it’s gone now and my energy is coming back. Thank goodness! I was getting sick of feeling tired and feeling guilty that I wasn’t paying enough attention to my little one. Luckily, she LOVES books at the moment so we have been reading a lot (over and over!). She has also found her legs, and seems to love toddling around and getting into what ever she can.

    The new bub and our Little Miss will be about 20 months apart in age. There are so many different ideas out there about ‘the best’ age gap to have between babies. But in reality, you have to go with what suits your family. There are pros and cons in waiting or going ahead earlier I think. A con for us – two in nappies!!

    copyright 2012 Tully & Mishka
    I’d be interested in hearing about your experiences in your second (or subsequent!) pregnancies and how any hot tips for entertaining small toddlers along the way!