Getting Mumma’s Mojo Back

Getting mumma's mojo back. I have lost my mojo.  Well, that’s how I’ve been feeling for some time.  Clearly, things change enormously once you have children.  For men and women.  But being a woman, I’ll focus on what I know.  🙂 

As I’ve blogged earlier, I experienced PND with my first bubba, and it has also made itself known this time around.  But I’m talking about something a little different.  I’ve lost ME, for a little while.  I think that it’s normal – after all there are massive changes after giving birth – physical and emotional.  My focus has completely shifted.  It is so easy to lose sight of yourself, as an individual, whilst mothering.  Perhaps it’s easier when not in paid work as well?  I’m at home, and not in the paid workforce at this time.  So you know, spending days at a time talking to small people who don’t understand a) what you mean and b) logic, can be exhausting.  Exhausting! 

The relentless routine of feeding, cleaning, feeding, cleaning, and laundry.  So much laundry.  Every. Day.  Perhaps it’s not really surprising that the mojo disappears for a while.  I’m sure I’m not the only one.  Right?  Right?!  Hehehehe.  

So i’m on a bit of a mission to get my mojo back.  And I’m not just talking losing weight and doing some exercise, although that will be a part of it.  It’s about finding me as a person again.  Or perhaps more accurately, easing some of my individual self back for me.  And for The Mister.  ‘Cos that’s a whole other issue – the evolving nature of the couple, once kids are added to the mix!  

I’m starting with some obvious things – trying to improve the household diet, and add some regular exercise in.  But I’ve also thought I need to do some more interaction with adults.  So I’ve joined MOPS – Mothers of Pre-schoolers.  It’s a playgroup where the kids are cared for in their rooms – ie baby and toddler rooms, and the mums get to participate in conversation, some activities and listen to different speakers for a whole two hours, no kids! (unless they need their nappies changed, then you get paged….).  It’s really been interesting and has lead to another positive.  They held are little Market just prior to mother’s day, just for the MOPS mums.  We were encouraged to have a table there if we were starting up a new business, or if we already had one.  It kicked me into gear, an a little seed of an idea that we have been sitting with has sprouted!  The Mister and I are still working on it, but we are setting up an online store.  Once it’s active I’ll write about it a bit more.  

It’s been a bit of a challenge, and a bit nerve wracking – I’ve not really done any retail or markets before, but I do feel it’s actually helping my energy as well.  We’ve got the office tidy and back in control, the same with changing out the pantry, and organising the kitchen.  All things we’ve been meaning to do for ages.  

Tell me, what have you done to get your mojo back post baby?  Are you still looking for it?  Tell me I’m not the only one????!!!!!! 

* I’ve linked this up to the Digital Parents Blog Carnival for May 2014!  Click through to check out some really excellent blogs. 

photo by: MSVG
  • Peta

    As a FTM of an almost 9 month old, I get it! I have learned how to sew as something to do for myself. It is easy to get bogged down in the “routine” that is being a Stay-at-home-Mum. I also make sure I go out 3 or 4 days a week and catch up with friends with kids-
    My house is rarely as clean as it could be but I figure maintaining my sanity has to be number 1 priority when home with babies!! I have never been happier though, and wouldn’t change it for the world, it’s just an adjustment!!
    BTW- love reading your blog!!

    • Thanks so much for the comment Peta! And I have to say, the only time my house is clean, is when we are having some kind of shindig!

  • Natasha Goicoa

    Great blog entry Kel – I hear you sister!!!

    I think it may be easier to find the women out there that HAVE found their mojo with small kiddywinks!!

    Besides being a wonderful Mum, you are an amazing human being! I just know the business is going to be a huge success – I can’t wait to see it all unfold!! xx

  • Sim

    This is a topic that really resonates with me personally. I remember a time specifically when my two were a lot littler and I felt the same way. Its so disillusioning when your world just revolves around your family, you give your everything to it, and the view of yourself as anyone by mum and housewife seems blurred beyond recognition. My situation was made all the more worse at that time when my husband decided to leave me for another woman. So all of a sudden, not only was I a person with a lack of self confidence and identity, but one of the only two identities I had at the time (wife and mother), yet another was stripped away from me.

    Rest assured though, after a lot of time, heart healing and soul searching, I think I have started to find myself again. This new person is so different to before kids, different to before break up. Hell its different to after break up. But I feel more like a complete person again, with her own identity. I would say much more strong, mature and broadminded to anyone I felt like before. And that feels good. My ability to sit comfortably with my own identity again has allowed me to grow so strong with my little family including my new partner. It was with his love and support he allowed me to grow and explore ways to find myself again. And the boys, well they just constantly remind me just how amazing my role (and part of my identity is) as mum can be. They are growing and developing at a rate of knots, but always ever loyal and loving to their mum.

    At a time when I was low and lost, something inside me told me to pluck the courage up and find me again. To even do the unthinkable as a mum and think of me first once in a while. I even got a tattoo (my one and only ink) to remind me just who I am. And even now, occasionally I look down at that wrist and remind myself just how far I have come.

    And while I had love and support from my partner and children to explore finding myself again, only I could do it. You have to want to, be brave enough to try, and show commitment to working at finding yourself again. There is no easy fix, and I think you have to have supportive network around you to successfully make it happen.

    I wish you all the very best of luck my friend. I know you are a strong, couragous woman who will conquer and thrive.

    • Wow Sim, thanks for such an open and honest reply! You have certainly demonstrated that working through the difficult times is possible, and I think you have also been a great example of how accepting the love and help of your networks is essential in this process. YOU are certainly one strong and courageous woman Sim! xx

  • What a clever idea this MOPS is!! Oh my goodness how wonderful.
    Getting your mojo back as a mum is HARD! And also very important and at the heart of a happy and healthy life so I think this is fantastic.

  • I certainly have felt that lack of mojo 4-10 months after my 2nd baby. I think the daily grind, being tired and not having anything for me was the cause. So I started my blog and am loving it, we purchased a new camera and Im loving learning how to use it. I have also set myself some projects in the house and a few crafting things and its been calming, therapeutic and I love that I have ‘ME’ stuff to do and escape. What a lovely post and resonating.

  • The thing I found hardest in the early days wasn’t the lack of time or the housework piling up & all that. It was those crazy feeding frenzies. My bubba would have some days where she wanted to breast feed for hours. It frustrated me after the first few times… Then I just accepted that it was how my days were now. Rolled with it I guess and so I set my day up to achieve nothing specific, but got comfy with a book, TV shows or something & stopped worrying what I wasn’t going to achieve. It helped a lot.

  • Would you believe blogging was an integral part of me getting my mojo back? The inter web and the friends that I’ve made here, really helped me with the isolation I felt staying at home on the farm with the kids.

    I look forward to reading about your online shop. I wish you loads of shining success with it.

    Thanks for linking your post with I’m Pinning Around.
    A xx

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